An unabashed ode to Halsey

In a personal post guest writer Kimberley Hills explores how the musician Halsey inspires her as a bi woman of colour

I am filled with anxiety at the path ahead of me. Where others are handed carefully drawn maps and directions with binoculars and bear traps to stop the dangers and enemies ahead, my hands are left empty and my eyes, blindfolded. I am not prepared for this trek or climb, I do not have the know how. I do not have the resolve. My body tells me it is too weak for such a forage and my mind tells me that I am facing a bleakness that has never been faced before. But right as I try to go back, to return from whence I came, I suddenly remember that there is someone else ahead of me, several miles in fact and she has been there for quite some time.

She has weathered the storms and even the man-made disasters and somehow found solid soil afterwards to continue the trail. I remember all the stories that I have heard of her and see that we share not only a path but perhaps a kinship. I remember that the same blue colored cloud of malady that follows me, follows her. I remember that though we look as though we are opposites, we share a lineage and I remember that though we have separate hearts, they can feel tenderness and devotion for one in the same. The oncoming night and foliage abounds with creatures both minuscule and mammoth yet she stares straight ahead into the night’s blackness and trusts that her flame will shine a forceful light on whatever may come.

She stares straight ahead into the belly of the merciless and colossal biphobic beast and still proudly proclaims who she is and every tiny part. I have no guard or sword – but neither does she and I gaze at how far she has gone and have faith that that beast is no match for her. I am not always able to have that strength but I know it will arrive in due time because of those who stood before me and did just that. She stares straight ahead and on this path, I will find the strength, too.

Follow Kimberley Hill on Twitter (@msbehavedblkgrl)

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